It has been a few weeks since we’ve been able to highlight some of our favorite blogs. This isn’t because there haven’t been good ones to read – on the contrary! It seems the marriage blogs we frequent are growing and maturing in their writing and testimonies. This is excellent news!! The more couples encouraging godly marriages the more marriages that will be strengthened.

We simply haven’t had the time to read other blogs, but today we’ll share a few. If you have the time this weekend, visit the blogs highlighted and check out their other posts. We value what they have to say.

But first we want to share with you a powerful video on the importance of taking our marriage vows seriously. You will be affected so be prepared!

Encourage Your Spouse

• Love Is – Lori takes the very familiar passage from 1 Corinthians 13 and shares a picture you may never forget on how to apply these verses to your daily life.

Hot, Holy and Humorous 

• When My Sex Life Sucked, Part 1 – In this post, and this blog for that matter, “J” tackles the rarely talked about topics that all marriages need to face and communicate about. This post in particular will greatly help young couples who are in the midst of raising a family. Please, take the time to read it! Your marriage will thank you for it, and maybe your kids will too – one day! Be sure to watch this blog for Part 2. It’s sure to be just as good!

Journey To Surrender

• Why OK, Is Not OK

Marriage Gems

• How To Naturally Increase Oxytocin, And Why This May Help Your Marriage – We love how Lori incorporates research studies into her posts. She is unlike any other marriage blog out there.

Marriage Missions International

• This Isn’t Fair - Cindy share their personal struggle and how God is helping her to think rightly – very much like a post I will share tomorrow!

One Flesh Marriage

• Relationship Energy – A great metaphor comparing the energy found in your marriage with the energy you had while dating. Brad asks some very insightful questions to help you discern your marriage.

The Generous Husband and The Generous Wife

• Twenty Seven Years and Counting – Happy Anniversary to a couple who knows how to do marriage right. How? By following the Lord each step of the way – through peaks and valleys. We gladly highlight them today, and you’ll see…they LOVE to kiss!

This post was originally posted in April of 2010. I happened upon it last night as I was looking for something else. What affected me is we’re in a season where life is NOT ordinary. It has been a challenge to keep up with the demands of life since the beginning of the year. And the worst part? As the year progresses it seems to be getting busier. I have been longing for an ordinary day. How about you? How do you handle those not-so-ordinary days? How is your marriage affected – for better? or for worse?

__________________________________________

I love ordinary days.

Days when the first thing I hear is the whirring of the coffee grinder as Tom brews a fresh pot of aromatic energy – just for him.  He prefers his coffee strong and black.

Days when I steep hot tea in my favorite Starbucks mug  - PG Tips to be exact – with a bit of sugar and cream; pure comfort in a cup!

From there Tom finds his place at the kitchen counter.  I settle in on the sofa, and we commune with the Lord – reading His word, reading a book together and/or by journaling.   There is a rhythm to our mornings that seems ordinary, but in reality they are far from it.  The fact is that after 31 years [now 33] having found such a rhythm to our days is nothing short of a miracle.  We enjoy being together as we seek the Lord.  We enjoy communing with the Author of our faith…our love…our lives. Because He first loved us, we are learning to enjoy the security His love brings to us individually and as a couple.

We have learned that such ordinary days are what make life extraordinary.

Predictable, everyday routines are like foundations that support us on the days that are not so routine.  God gives us Himself on the ordinary days so we might give of ourselves sacrificially to His will when things aren’t going as planned.

He is always there when our feet first touch the floor in the early morning light, and as we reach to turn off the lamp before kissing goodnight.  He is the reason we have any days at all, the ordinary as well as the not-so-ordinary.

How do you spend your ordinary days?

Photo Credit: Buffalo Electronic Cigarettes

I see it all the time, and it usually makes me sad for the habit they have. You’ve most likely seen it too – a group of nicotine addicts gathered outside on a beautiful day to have their fix. It may be they’re facing a challenge and felt the need to smoke. It may be their regular coffee break where they choose to remove themselves from inside in order to enjoy a cigarette outside.

Smoking is bad for you. I get that. Being dependent on nicotine can be life-threatening. This is true.

So why do I envy smokers?

Simply because they have a habit of pulling themselves away for a short breaks throughout the day. Indoor smoking laws have caused them to go outside in order to pause and smoke.

Imagine if we were to have the same “habit” of seeking the Lord throughout the day? When the pressure builds and we sense anxiety, instead of grabbing a cancer stick, we grab hold of God by pulling away to pause, reflect and regroup.

Our post yesterday about stillness, made me notice two smokers outside our local convenience store in a completely different way. They were talking. They were enjoying  the weather. And they were smiling.

Why not emulate the smokers by taking up a praying habit? Not one where you add it to your busy schedule, but one where you get up and walk outside for a few moments. You may find this is a habit you simply can’t kick! And who would want to?

Praying–unlike smoking–is good for your health!

When was the last time you were still? Sleeping doesn’t count! Stillness is something with which most of us are not comfortable. Why? Because when we’re still all we have is our thoughts, and sometimes our thoughts aren’t encouraging. Sometimes our thoughts can be quite frightening.

Yet stillness is necessary. We must take time to be still. The Bible says in Psalms 46:10 -

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

If this is what it takes to know God, and if we avoid being still, then aren’t we avoiding knowing God? How sad. When we say “yes” to one thing, we are saying “no” to something else. When we constantly choose to fill our down time with social media and entertainment, stillness isn’t possible.

It is Wednesday. Our time to pause halfway through the week to check who it is we are worshiping. Are we worshiping God or our own agenda? Pausing long enough to be still and consider this question will actually help us worship God. For in the stillness we will find HIM.

Here is a challenge: plan some time to sit and be still this week. Listen for God. Wait on Him. Enjoy being with Him even if you have nothing to say. Then, see if you don’t sense His nearness more than you did before. To help you experience some stillness here in this moment, enjoy this song by Watermark appropriately titled, Still.

Photo Credit: Dribble.com

When schedules are demanding and time to connect is lacking, it is easy to find our communication either hitting or missing the mark.

Have you ever said one thing only to have your spouse interpret what you said, how you said it or why you said it, in the wrong way? There is a choice to make in such moments: Either overlook the miscommunication, react to it, or purpose to talk about it later.

After nearly 33 years of marriage we still find ourselves reacting to each other when we are tired or our schedules are overextended. This is one such time. Our posts have been less frequent because of life. But this life is what God has called us to! It is in the mundane moments when we realize what is in our hearts. These moments help us see the areas which need to change, and God is there in those moments to help us, grow us and to bring us to a place of reconciliation.

The work marriage requires never ends. But the seasons of struggle don’t seem to last as long. We have learned how to read one another more accurately, but we’re still sinners in need of a Savior. The good news is – we have a Savior who is able to help us in every season we face in our marriage.

So, be encouraged. If you are hitting or missing the mark of communication, God is with you. He will help you. Cry out to Him for help in your time of need then watch and see what He does. He is faithful!

We had the opportunity to spend an afternoon bike riding together on the West Orange Trail in West Orange County. It was a beautiful day, and the cost was minimal thanks to a Living Social Deal. We pedaled for 12 miles, stopping to take pictures along the way.

There are many rails which have been converted to trails throughout Central Florida. If you love to be outdoors and enjoy biking, walking, running, skateboarding or in-line skating, this may be a great way for you to see the real side of Florida. We sure enjoyed our time together as you’ll see in the pictures below!

Happy Trails!

Click to view slideshow.

♥ Fun Dates To Celebrate ♥

January 23

• National Pie Day – This is a great day to bake your favorite or go out together and order one slice or two.
• National Handwriting Day – Why this day? Because today is the birthday of John Hancock, the first signer of our nation’s Declaration of Independence. Why not write your love a handwritten note on a napkin and place it under their plate at dinner. Be sure to sign your “John Hancock,” so they know it’s from you!

January 24

• Compliment Day – Everyone needs at “atta boy” now and then. Especially from the one you love most.

January 25

• Opposite Day – Have fun with this one…and finish it with some great sex – after all opposites attract, right?

January 26

• Spouse’s Day – That’s right – every spouse should have their own special day. Make this one so special they’ll never forget it. Plan by making a list of all their favorite things, and then do all you can to give them the list in one 24 hour period. The fun part – don’t tell them you’re doing it. See how quick they catch on that it’s all their favorites day!

January 27

• Chocolate Cake Day – no explanation needed.

January 28

• National Kazoo Day – if you’re inclined to play one, serenade your spouse and see if they can “name that tune.”

January 29

• National Puzzle Day – Combine both holidays by putting together a jigsaw puzzle…
• National Corn Chip Day – …while munching on nachos!

♥ Things To Do In Orlando ♥

CENTRAL

• Downtown Orlando Partnership presents it’s monthly social at the Grand Bohemian on Thursday, January 26th from 5:30p – 7p. Cost is $10 for non-members, $2 for members. See site for details.
• Orange County History Center presents Retro Night on Friday, January 27th from 7p – Midnight. There will be classic board games, video games, retro snacks, as well as pizza and a cash bar for your enjoyment. Sunny FM 105.9 will provide the music to complete the feel of visiting the good old days!
• Winter Park – Music at the Casa on Sunday, January 28th from 12p – 3p. FREE.
• Winter Park Playhouse – presents “I Love You Because,” on stage this weekend. See site for reviews, times and prices.

NORTH

• Sanford – Sanford Art Walk will be on January 27th in downtown Sanford. Cost is FREE and begins at 6p.
• Blue Springs – Manatee Festival on Saturday and Sunday, Janaury 28th and 29th. See site for times and admission prices.

WEST

• Clermont – Lakeridge Winery Winter Music Series will offer it’s final day on Saturday, January 27th from 1p – 4p. This weeks artist is Little Mookie and the Half Pints. FREE.

Photo Credit: Humor and the Holidays

I was in a meeting this week with some other wives, and this idea came to us through laughter and tears, the good kind of tears from laughing too hard.

One friend had her toddler in her arms eating a cupful of gold fish crackers, when she spilled the whole cup – all over the table, floor and few down her shirt. We laughed as she was trying to recover them, when I suggested she just wait until tonight and let her husband “go fishing!”

Haha!

Then, we had the idea to hide a gold fish somewhere on your body and invite your husband to “go fish!” Wouldn’t he have fun talking about THIS fish story! Well, maybe not talking to anyone else but YOU, but guaranteed he would have fun.

Photo Credit: Professional Chicks blog

From there the comments continued:

• Put a sign on the door that reads, “gone fishing.”
• Put a bumper sticker on his car that says, “I’d rather be fishing.”
• Hearing him talking about a real fishing story of the “one that got away,” then winking at him and whispering, yeah but what about that Big One you caught!”

Photo Credit: Squidoo

So, you can see how our conversation went from there. Who knew that a little box of gold fish crackers could be so much fun. I’ll bet you smile the next time your kids ask to play Go Fish! Just tell them only if  their daddy will play!

It is raining outside as I write this post.  I have always loved the rain – the gentle shower as well as the violent storm.  God expresses His love and care for the earth with the shower, and He reminds us of His majesty and power in the storm.

Tonight it is a gentle shower, but there is thunder rolling in the distance.  It’s like an echo whispering of God’s ever present power to water the earth however He chooses.

In the same way God cares for the earth, He is at work caring for our marriages.  The fact that you are taking the time to read a blog about it shows your desire to learn and grow.  Flowers left to themselves would wither and die.  They have no desire nor ability to pursue the rain.  The rain must come to them.

We are unlike the flowers of the field.

God has given us the ability to think, reason and learn.  We can seek out the rain when we are going through a dry season.  We can soak up the rich water of His Word to remind us of why we got married in the first place.  We can change and become more passionate about our spouse even if years of indifference have left our hearts feeling cold and unromantic.

How?  How is change possible?  One raindrop at a time.

If you have not pursued your spouse romantically in a long time and the thought of doing so makes you nervous, then read on!  You don’t have to plan an elaborate night away, or extend yourself way beyond what seems natural.  Start with one rain drop.  Here are a few for you to consider:

• Write a personal note and mail it to them.
• Find your wedding picture and place it your spouse’s dresser saying, “I still do!”
• Rub your spouses neck after a long day.  When you finish kiss the same spot.
• Talk to them about your desire to change and what they would like to see change too.  While you’re at it – ask them what romance means to them.

Following such simple gestures are sure to water the dry soil of romance in your marriage.  There are seeds waiting to come alive in your hearts towards each other and each drop you absorb will be refreshing to you and fruitful for those who are following after you.  You see, the way we love our spouse isn’t only for our pleasure or for God’s glory, but it’s also for the generations who are following after us.  They are watching to see if marriage God’s way really works.   God will help us prove the answer is a thundering YES!

So, is it raining romance in your heart?

Photo Credit: prozac1

January is  the month when people often purpose to be consistent in their devotions. It is Wednesday. The month is over half passed, and maybe you’re needing to be reminded, like me, who it is we need most to help us accomplish our goals.

Enjoy this worship song – one of our favorites – to bring perspective back to its proper place!

Photo Credit: Arvind Balaraman

This morning I awoke before dawn with a plan, and so did someone else apparently. I read my Bible reading for today from the book of James…

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

(James 3:5-12 ESV)

…while another person chose to start a fire in the woods. I asked God to help me tame my tongue in order to prevent my hurtful words from catching fire, thus hurting those I love,  while a stranger sat back and watched the flames lick the trunk of this old tree with a smile.

Photo Credit: Mail Online

Central Florida has been home to the oldest Bald Cypress Tree in the world. It was believed to be 3500 years old and at one time stood 165′ tall, that is until a hurricane in the 1920′s broke it at the top. President Calvin Coolidge dedicated the park where “The Senator” stood in 1929, and many have visited the old Senator ever since. It was a landmark used by Indians in the past and presently a prized attraction for the small city of Longwood, FL.

On Monday morning, January 16th, around 6a. a runner noticed flames shooting from the top of the tree and called the Fire Department.

By the time they arrived the entire center of the tree was ablaze, and it was impossible to stop the damage. Within 30 minutes the tree fell, and all who were nearby heard it fall. Sadness stood in its place.

As I finished my quiet time with the Lord, this arsonist had finished his devastating work. There had been no lightning strikes in the area, no rain even, so the cause of the fire was a mystery. Until a pile of wood was found at the base of the tree indicating that this fire was started inside the tree where no one would see it until it was too late to stop it.  This was believed to be the work of an arsonist.

Who would choose to do such a thing? And why? Experts who study the behavior of arsonists say they do it for the thrill and excitement of seeing the damage wrought by their own hands. It sounds so sick, doesn’t it?

Yet isn’t it interesting that James chose this exact metaphor to describe our tongue and the words we choose? Having counseled married couples for years we have witnessed the damage caused by hurtful words. We ourselves have used words at times that were obviously spoken to stab and hurt, but never to destroy. Not really!

As Tom and I were talking about this at length he said most people when they use jabbing words are merely wanting to fire a warning shot across the bow, so to speak. It’s a warning to back off or more damage will ensue.

But sometimes, many times, our first shot makes a strike, and a fire is stoked. It can take a long time to put out the fire, much less repair the charred damage left behind.

How conscious are you of the words you choose to speak and why? Have you noticed your spouse back off when you vent? The Bible instructs us about the damage our tongues can cause, but gives us hope in so doing. We don’t have to use such words. We can say NO to this temptation.  The grace of God teaches us to say NO to ungodliness, but we must choose to say NO!

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
(James 1:19-20 ESV)

If we are saying we want a good marriage, but do nothing to bridle our tongues we are deceiving ourselves. Let’s be honest and choose to stop speaking in ways which send off warning shots. If anger is a besetting sin in your life, in your marriage, then we appeal to you to seek biblical counsel from someone you know and trust. When the flames of such words reach their peak, many more will be harmed and maybe all the years you’ve invested in your marriage and in your family will go up in smoke.

May it not be said of us!

Editor’s Note: Fire Fighters have  not confirmed arson at this time, so the cause is still a mystery. We believe the metaphor is still worth posting in regards to marriage, and we thank God, there may not be such an arsonist on the loose.